Unfailurelessness

by Landspeedrecord!

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released January 1, 2009

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Landspeedrecord! Baltimore, Maryland

LandSpeedRecord! was founded in 1996, a combination of the Baltimore post-punk bands OCTOPUS, GLAZERIDE, and BUTTSTEAK. LandSpeedRecord! is the parental unit and mental health physician of front person/guitarist Charley Jamison, drummer Marc Berrong, bassist Thomas Stehr, guitarists/noise-ists Ron Spencer and Nathan Bell. ... more

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Track Name: The Wetter it Gets
THE WETTER IT GETS

Sit down and shut the fuck up.
You don't know what you are talking about.
You think you're right. You think you're clever.
You think that by talking you can change whoever.
But your mouth is still wet
and the more that you talk the wetter it gets.

You and I, we all made a pact
and it wasn't exactly the best idea at the time
but pull down the blinds
and let me kiss you on the head;
hold onto your arms. Fall on the bed.
Collide the way that fevers build up
and suddenly you can't move
any more because all the energy is spent.
I don't know where all that energy went.

I'm coming around this time.
Do I like the canary or do I like the coalmine?

I'm poking you but you don't like to be poked.
I'm joking you but you don't like to be joked.
The confessions come fast and strong.
And sadly we procrastinated way too long.
Track Name: Reversals
REVERSALS

The seamstress sews the rip in the surgeons favorite shirt.
And the surgeon sews the seamstress when the seamstress gets hurt.
There were 19 fucking stitches in the seamstress' head
and someone has to pay the hospital bills until every last one of us is dead.

Normally, the beautician puts make up on the mortician's face.
but yesterday at noon the beautician died in a convienient place.
The mortician saw the car crash from the funeral home's window.
and when you're dead and you need your make up applied there is only one place to go.

It's ironic and it is weird but sometimes roles get reversed. And when the
funeral home chauffeur dies I want to be the one who gets to drive the hearse.

It's ironic and it is strange but sometimes roles get reversed and when
one lover cries because the other lover dies tears won't
help the alcoholic who is dying of thirst.
Track Name: The Deaf Want to Know
THE DEAF WANT TO KNOW

The deaf want to know what I've been doing with my life.
How could I have worked so hard on nothing?
And all the years that have passed and the activity elapsed,
pouring my passion into such a dumb thing.

Please tell me that you care about the ones beyond repair
Because someone has to save me from my list
of things to do that I can't face and I am shamed into disgrace:
I crossed off nothing but there's nothing that I missed.

The dead want to know what I've been thinking to myself
when I stare out into space and look so sour.
I want to help me and I will, but I'll guess I'll wait until
I can get around to that some other hour.

The illiterate want to read my ten steps to succeed,
I'll show them to you but only if you're blind.
I wrote them down in braille. I'll send you the xerox in the mail.
Run your grubby fingers on them and tell me what you find.

THE DEAF THEY CANNOT HEAR AND I KILLED ANOTHER YEAR
WE'RE ALL IMPAIRED IF YOU'RE SCARED THAT YOU CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT THE JOKE IS

C'MON AND LAUGH WITH ME C'MON AND LAUGH WITH ME
LAUGH! IT'S FUCKING FUNNY THAT THE DEAF WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE JOKE IS.

THE JOKE IS THIS MELODY IF YOU CAN'T HEAR IT YOU ARE FREE -
IF YOU'RE ILLITERATE AND DEAF THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY WHAT THE JOKE IS.

C'MON AND LAUGH WITH ME C'MON AND LAUGH WITH ME C'MON AND LAUGH WITH ME
THE DEAF WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE JOKE IS. The A&R man wants to know where all the coke is.
Track Name: Today Is the Day
Today Is the Day

After awhile I start to pretend
that it's not really happening again.
a bug on a pin, I can race for the cure,
but the starting gun's silent from fear of failure.

How many times can I wake up and say
that today's the day
that I start my life over again
until I realize
it's a psychotic game of pretend.

I just need some help to get off the block
but before I begin I get outlined in chalk.
Too little too late keeps on keeping on
I don't miss me now but I will when I'm gone.

How many times can I wake up and say
that today's the day
that I start my life over again
until I realize
it's a psychotic game of pretend.
Track Name: Barnes Common
BARNES COMMON

Let's go down to Barnes Common Rebecca.
In the south of London where the sunlight's rare.
It will be no pilgrimmage, no vacation.
But there is something I want to show you there.

No one will console you.
No one will console you.
No one will console you.
No one will control you or hold you

As you sail through life with razor honey lust and cavalier tongue that slaps the tips of your teeth

let's go down. Let's go down.

Let's go down to Barnes Common Rebecca
There is something I want to show you there.
The sentimental leave pictures and missives
and morbidly hang useless photos with care.

But that's not what I want you to see Rebecca.
Not a shrine, road mark, or a footnote in life.
What I want you to see will require no eyes
just you driving me you driving me driving me driving me driving me my beautiful X.

No one will console you.
No one will console you.
No one will console you.
No one will control you or hold you

As you launch our car over london's soil into that motherfucking scrawny tree.

let's go down. Let's go down.

It's a fast road before the blind rise rebecca
and it's easy to see how tempting faster becomes;
there is no need for idle chit chat or small talk.
No need for your sweet sweat on my tongue.

You'll scream as I push down your right leg.
Like when I'm on top and hold your arms to the ground.
We'll drive until we hit Queen's Ride, Rebecca.
and we'll crash there while there's no one around.

Crawl out and stand at the side of the road where the british go by on the wrong side and never know
how we enter this world and we leave it alone and I know that you know it already and you don't really care.

Let's go down. Let's go down. Let's go down. Let's go down.
Let's go down. Let's go down. Let's go down. Let's go down.

Let's go down to Barnes Common.
Track Name: Unfailurelessness
Well I guess I didn't fail but I didn't succeed,
and I didn't really give you anything that you need.
I don't know any answers but I sure like to guess:
Unfailurelessness or unfailurenessless?

I like to talk a lot I never listen to me.
Simulation of the absence of idiocy.
I don't know what that means and so I didn't success
Unfailurelessness or mememamamaaaaaleess?

If there could be an amnesty between the mess that spells success U N F A I L
U R E L E S S N E S
and I will finish up eventually.
Then, uh, maybe this is relevant:
Behold the whitest elephant!

Unfailurelessness! Unfailurelessness! Unfailurelessness! Unfailurelessness!

I went up to the door of the Warren State Home
and asked for hours to come in
but I stood there alone.
Nobody said "no" but they didn't say "yes".
Unfailurelessness or wrong street address?

If failure and success are a relative game
then when cripples run a race the last one is still lame.
Yeah, I could've helped more, but I couldn't care less.
Non-anti-success or unfailurelessness?

If there could be an amnesty between the mess that spells success U N F A I L
U R E L E S S N E S
and I will finish up eventually.
Then, uh, maybe this is relevant:
Behold the whitest elephant!

Unfailurelessness! Unfailurelessness! Unfailurelessness! Unfailurelessness!

Waooooh!
Track Name: The Ouroborus
THE OUROBORUS

The scaly snake swallowed up its own tail,
devoured itself with fangs pearly and pale.
But with each peristalsis into the great jaws unhinged,
it took a baby step forward from the last place it had binged.


So, uh, if you can pare down
to just one thing then you'll succeed,
where all I did was bleed into the possibilities.
I'll get down on my knees...

And beg for the chance to milk venom regret.
An ounce of prevention ain't worth nothing yet,
until you pick your right poison - the base underneath your top note.
When you put your tail inside your mouth you need the right antidote.


So, uh, if you can pare down
to just one thing then you'll succeed,
where all I did was bleed into the possibilities.
I'll get down on my knees...

Without visible proof that I have any use
the alchemical dream is just herpes cream.
For every itch there's a scratch,
for every moth there's a match.
We only get one dream to reuse while the Ouroborus chews.
Track Name: Kathy's Affections
KATHY'S AFFECTIONS

Kathy's affections roll under the door again.
She's not listening, she's got a new friend.
It's in her belly and she is talking to herself again.
It's the only way to get back to the real world that she's hiding from.
I can't help her come.

Kathy's parents are yelling at the door again.
It's like a love affair. Why won't she let them in?
Don't cut it cross-wise cut it length-wise.
The only thing that changes is you.

Kathy's affections roll under the door again.
She's not listening, she's got a new friend.
It's in her belly and she is talking to herself again.
It's the only way to get back to the real world that she's hiding from.
I can't help her come.

Kathy's parents believe in Christ-Our-Lord.
There's nothing wrong with that, but Christ won't help you out when you are bored.
Don't cut it cross-wise cut it length-wise.
The only thing that changes is you.
Track Name: Save Us from Ourselves
SAVE US FROM OURSELVES

Squeal. Squeal. Squeal. Squeal. Squeal. Squeal.
Squeal. Squeal. Squeal. Squeal. Squeal. Squeal.

You're picking the red scab and thumbing the edges.
And rubbing it gentle, like lover to lover.
And doesn't it feel good? Yeah, doesn't it feel good?
Because I'm alone with you and there's no one else.

The Law of Fives looks at itself in the mirror.
There's nobody else there so everything's clearer.
And doesn't it seem true? Yeah, doesn't it seem true?
A history of winning strategy.

And now that you're going to see what you wanna see,
and now that I'm going to hear what I wanna hear,
no one's gonna save us from ourselves.

Moan. Moan. Moan. Moan. Moan. Moan. Moan.
Moan. Moan. Moan. Moan. Moan. Moan.

From the start of time to the end of eternity:
"Help me help you help you help me."
But who is the helper and who is the helpee?
A circular epidemiology.

You're picking the red scab and thumbing the edges.
And rubbing it gentle, like lover to lover.
And doesn't it feel good? Yeah, doesn't it feel good?
Because I'm alone with you and there's no one else.

And now that you're going to see what you wanna see,
and now that I'm going to hear what I wanna hear,
no one's gonna save us from ourselves.
No one's gonna save us from ourselves.
Track Name: Holy Shit
HOLY SHIT

Holy shit, what were you thinking when you put that in front of me?
You knew that I'd cave in. Succumb eventually.
From here it seems so cruel and pointless
but I know that there's a plan to get my heart's desire:

Remove my heart and make a better man of me.
Remove my heart and make a better man of me.
Remove my heart and make a better man of me.
Remove my heart.

I thought you were sadistic: you're too innocent and kind.
Every time you spoke you thought you'd change my mind,
to keep me from the things that you thought that I would do
to get my heart's desire.

Remove my heart and make a better man of me.
Remove my heart and make a better man of me.
Remove my heart and make a better man of me.
Remove my heart and make a better man of me.
Remove my heart and make a better man of me.
Remove my heart and make a better man of me somehow.
Somehow.